Status Updates From Christopher and Jaime (Pian...

“Love is a choice. Believe me, it’s one I have to choose every day.”

Do you remember what my grandpa told me when he gave me my journal? I read the whole thing recently. I looked back & noted all of my successes and failures, & you know what? The biggest failures in my life came when I didn’t choose you.” He brought our clasped hands up & kissed mine. “I’m only divorcing you because I want you to know that you are my choice.

I realize I took you for granted the past couple of years, that I wasn’t the husband I promised I would be. The possibility of losing you eats at me day and night, but I deserve to be divorced and you . . . you . . . I owe it to you to win your heart, to show you how much I love you. To date you and give you reasons to be in love with me.

I love you,” were the first words out of his mouth.
“I don’t know if I can believe that.”
“Why?”
“Because the whole time we were together you never said it, and now all of a sudden you love me?” “Jaimes, how could you not know I was in love with you?

Jaimes, I screwed up.” I didn’t disagree. “I love you.” Despite not being able to speak well, he said it with conviction. Tears rolled down my face. He did his best to reach up and wipe them away. His normally smooth hand felt dry, but I welcomed the touch. “I want you to divorce me." I was startled by his statement. I pulled back and shied away from his touch. He took my hand. “I want a redo.

Jaime and I can’t keep going on like this. I need her. She’s the only mother Allie’s ever known. When I look at Allie, I see Jaime in her, from the way she smiles in her sleep, to the notes she leaves me on my pillow that say, ‘I love you, Daddy.’ I should be a better dad to her. I want to be. I’m trying to be. And I’m on the verge of losing it.

I married Jaime over the weekend. I finally understand why they call it making love. There wasn’t time for a real honeymoon, but this weekend of only her & me was incredible. Best honeymoon I’ve ever had. Until this morning, I’ve never had the urge to skip a day of work, but watching her sleep in our bed, I can’t think of any other place I would rather be. She’s beautiful. And she’s mine.

The thought reminded me of what I had just read. The tears crept up again. “He sold her piano. She wanted me to have it, but he put it on the auction block for Bianca. I loved that piano and the memories it created, and he gave it away, just like me. He only cares about himself.

Miss Allison had promised me the piano, but I didn’t say anything. I thought maybe she had changed her mind, because I knew if she had told Chris, he would have made sure it was given to me. My trust had been misplaced. How could he? He knew how much that piano meant to me. How much his grandmother meant to me.

In one second, our relationship imploded. Everything I thought I knew about us, about him, was brought into question. “I’m not going back on the pill,” I whispered, determined. I hated the way they made me feel, and at the moment I didn’t care if he ever touched me again. “That’s your choice.” I sat stunned. I don’t know if he could have said anything more hurtful to me.

I could picture Chris opening the journal and his grandpa’s words, “A good man makes an account of each day. A successful man learns from both his triumphs and mistakes. Make a record of all your dealings, and you will be both.

I could picture Chris opening the journal and his grandpa’s words, “A good man makes an account of each day. A successful man learns from both his triumphs and mistakes. Make a record of all your dealings, and you will be both.

For those minutes, I forgot we were at odds, or that he was making my life more difficult by halting the divorce proceedings. I couldn’t understand his reasoning in slowing it down—he didn’t fight for us when he had the chance, so why bother now?

Chris has been in an accident. I don’t have any details.” I stepped back to see her wide eyes. “I’ll call later.”
“Bye, Mommy.” She sounded like she had lost every friend in the world. It was exactly how I felt. Not only was I divorcing my husband, but I was losing my best friend in the deal.

Jaimes, we’ll have a real marriage. We’ll have sex every night if you want to.”
“So now you want to be friends with benefits?” He moved in a little closer. Our lips were on the cusp of touching, causing my breath to falter. “Jaimes, I would never think of you like that. But most marriages become friendships anyway, so we’re just skipping to that part.

I knew it was temporary when I agreed to be her nanny a year ago. I stroked her baby-soft cheek and again wished what I had been wishing since I was eleven years old: that her daddy was mine and this was anything but temporary. After twenty years of being in love with my best friend, you would think I’d have given up hope by now. I supposed I had.