Status Updates From Agrippa's Occult Philosophy...

So far I have learned the invaluable secret knowledge that if you mix weasel brains with rennet, mice will not eat it, and horses like the wind because they're made of air. What's interesting is that Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa died in 1535, and I didn't even know they had Facebook back then. Where else could he have gained this kind of information?

EVERYTHING IS MADE OF AIR EARTH FIRE AND WATER SHUT UP SCIENCE IT'S SYMBOLIC AND PHILOSOPHICAL JUST APPRECIATE THE VIBES AND CHILL

I love how it starts off with Agrippa saying no no no, all of those other magicians are full of shit, *I'm* the real deal because *I'm* a */philosopher/*. The absolute hubris of occultists is hilarious. That's why I find this stuff fun to read, they're all serious as a disease of the liver and so earnest about the topic but so flippin' arrogant that only /they/ know the truth.

"I do not doubt that the title of our book... will attract many readers.... some have the twisted beliefs of a weak mind, and others will come to us with a spiteful and ungrateful nature. With their reckless ignorance, they... will claim that I teach forbidden arts, that I scatter the seeds of heresy, offend pious ears, tempt noble characters, that I am wicked, superstitious, demonic, and a magician."

What a start.