Status Updates From Más de lo que podemos decir

”What are you writing?” he whispers.
“I’m turning his marks into a line of barbed wire. And then above that, I’m writing, ‘The revolution is not an apple that falls when it is ripe—’ ”
He catches my face. Presses his lips to mine. His kiss is slow and patient, just like him. A brush of lips, followed by more.
When he draws back, just a bit, I smile.

I said no. I said no to my father. The one man deserving of my rage and violence.
I said NO to my FATHER. For the first time in … ever, I feel in control
- Rev

”Please,” he says again, and his words have dissolved into a sob. “My son. Please. I am dying.”
“Good.”
Then I slam the door behind me and walk out.

”I am in such pain. How can you bear to witness such suffering?”
…
“How could you?” I yell. “How could you witness such suffering? Do you know what you did to me? Do you have any idea?”
“I raised you,” he says gently, but now his voice has no power.
“You failed me.”
“I created you.”
“I don’t care.” I’m still yelling. I wish Dad were here to catch me now. “You are not my father.”

I have never wished so hard for a speed trap in all my life.
I swallow. “I’m sorry. Can you please take the next exit?”
He says nothing. He keeps driving. The car continues flying along the pavement. His jaw is set, his fists tight on the steering wheel. Fear wraps around that icy brick in my chest.

”At the house with Neil,” he says, “they used to padlock the bedrooms at night. Lock us inside.”
I hold absolutely still.
Matthew shrugs, but his body is completely rigid. He looks at the opposite wall. “They used to lock me in with Neil.”
”What did he do?”
The look in his eyes is brutal. “Guess”.

“It’s okay,” His voice is low, calm and sure. “Rev. It’s okay.”
I’m breathing so hard I might be hyperventilating. I force my fingers to unclench. My arms are shaking.
“I’m sorry.” My voice breaks. I’m crying. “I’m sorry.”
He doesn’t let go of me. “It’s okay.”
And then I’m crumpling, falling against him.
He catches me. He holds on.
Because he’s not my father. He’s my dad.”

”I turn on him. “Leave me alone.”
“No.”
I get in his face. “Leave. Me. Alone.”
He doesn’t back off. “No.”
My hands form fists. “Leave me alone!” I’m shouting now.
His voice grows quieter. “No.”
“Leave me alone!” I shove him, and I’m strong enough to push him back a step, but he doesn’t move beyond that.
“No.” His voice is so quiet. “Rev. No.”

A hand grabs my arm. Red colors my vision. I whirl. My arm flies. I make contact.
Declan hits the ground.
I fall back.
My heart is a roar in my ears. I can’t speak. I can’t think.
I hit my best friend. I hit my best friend. I hit my best friend.

In my head, the whispers aren’t just about this moment. They’re about my father.

I told you to answer me.
I will not wait forever.

A threat. A promise. There are penalties for failure.
Tension forms a vise grip around my chest. My throat.
My head wants to explode.

Light and shadows play games with the trails of water on her face. My eyes trace her lips, the lines of her face, the soft curve of her jaw. I want to touch her so badly that my hand aches for it.
- Rev

”When I was six, he wanted me to copy an entire page from the Bible. My hand started to cramp, and he decided the devil had taken control of my arm. He took a knife, and he started cutting, and he said my screaming was the devil fighting to stay inside—”
- Rev

”I was afraid to go outside without my father, because it seemed the devil was everywhere.” A pause. “Now, when I think back, I think the devil was in the house with me.”
- Rev

The side of his hand brushes mine. Sparks travel up my arm, and I have to remind my heart that it’s just a casual motion.
But then his hand closes on mine. I freeze.
“Is this okay?” he whispers.
“Yes,” I say. “Do you want me to let go so you can text?”
He inhales—and his breathing steadies. He turns his head, and his breath brushes my neck. “I don’t want you to let go.”
”Okay”

”You’re neither son, Rev. If you’re anyone, you’re the man who watched his kids act like total dicks, only to stand there with open arms and forgive them.”

So you finally asked a girl to talk to you … and you chose the grass beside a church? Dude

I hold my breath, and in that moment, I’m torn between hoping she’ll stay and hoping she’ll leave.
I don’t know why. It’s ridiculous. She has so much contempt for everything I love.
Then the door clicks, and it doesn’t matter. She did exactly what I asked.
- Emma

Huh?
What?
Oh ...update !

Yeah, so, em is getting kidnapped by ethan. Now, who* would have seen THAT coming? Who" could have not trusted shady ethen?

*Me

I'm so giddy, think I'm gonna die from it.
*My cheeks hurt* 🦋✨

I'm so giddy, think I'm gonna die from it.
My cheeks hurt 🦋✨

I know it was dark. But it just turned darker.

Yeah . So, either I am gonna kill someone or kill myself.

Literal chills.
Idk how, but I am having an anxiety attack , while smiling.
What is this book doing to me? Aghhhhhh 🤸

This is gold 🗻