Status Updates From Pop the Clutch: Thrilling T...

"I was a Teenage Shroom Fiend" by Brian Hodge: 4/5 - definitely the most creative way for movie monsters to come out of the screen (sort of) that I've ever read. More of a spectator adventure than a real journey, but lots of fun.

Not the best story in a collection of not great stories, but this is a great line for any horror fan: "If the weird is going to take over your life anyway, you might as well go out and find it first, so you have some control over the situation."

"Fish Out of Water" by Will Vaharo: 2/5 - what starts out as the most convincing story in the collection, a follow-up to the action of the Creature from the Black Lagoon movies, turns semi-erotic and then just stupid. A major editing mistake (a repeated, rephrased sentence) halfway through really breaks the flow. Almost outrageous enough to be fun, almost convincing enough to be meaningful.

"The She-Creature" by Amelia Beamer: 3/5 - an allegorical story about a sapphic romance in an amusement park that leads to what may be physical transformation. Poetic and original.

"Lab Experiment Turf War" by Jeff Strand: 2/5 - a sort of misfit monster West Side Story. Good, frivolous fun, as always from Strand, but pretty messy and pointless except for the laughs.

"Mystery Train: An Arcane Investigation" by Max Collins and Matt Clemens: 2/5 - clearly part of some larger storyline the authors are developing, this plot about evil fog from Cape Canaveral is colorful but otherwise unremarkable.

"I'm With the Band" by Steve Perry: 3/5 - a stylish, compelling story that doesn't go anywhere you don't expect about a backup guitarist whose jealousy of the band's lead singer turns lethal.

"The Prom Tree" by Yvonna Navarro: 3/5 - a girl makes a donation to a tree to ward off bad luck before prom. Very effective writing but not much resolution.

"Hot Babe" by Bill Bronzini: 3/5 - a simplistic, tried-and-true twist story about car racing and the devil. It's a tedious build-up to the punch line, but it's a decent one.

"Doctor Morbismo's Insaniterrorium Horror Show" by Lisa Morton: 4/5 - there's no conflict in this story of a traveling magician who has pivoted his talents to focus on shows like the one in this story, featuring a local man who is exonerated from suspicion of murder when an actual ghost interrupts a would-be fake seance to give the crowd a dose of truth. Not scary, no suspense, but fun and original.

"The Starlite Drive-In" by John M. Floyd: 2/5 - a sort of cop fantasy in which a small town sheriff gets to stop the movie monsters (who have been--of course--released from the screen) and run away with the pretty deputy to Jamaica. Embracing cliches works to a point, and this story is enjoyable enough, but there has to be something original in there to make it worth the read.

"Draggers" by David J. Schow: 2/5 - a very literal interpretation of "drag racing," in which drivers are paired with Faults, or Asphalt Surfers, who hang on to the bumper as long as possible in a show of strength and stupidity. Might have made a good Chuck Palahniuk novel.

"Universal Monster" by Duane Swierczynski: 2/5 - another, unoriginal take on "what if movie monsters came out of the screen"?

"We Might Be Giants" by Nancy Holder: 3/5 - a thoroughly doo-wop, distinctively male fantasy in which a boy dating two of the prettiest girls at school ends up being saved from nuclear fallout by a race of aliens who all appear physically to be gorgeous women and want nothing more than to be romantic with the protagonist. A sort-of Phantom PlanetxVillage of the Giants mashup. Fun and silly.

"Outlawed Ink" by Jason Starr: 3/5 - a family of abused children comiserate with matching tattoos that turn out to have insidious power. Cool idea, kinda rough in execution, simple and enjoyable.

"The Demon of the Track" by Gary Phillips: 2/5 - a drag racer gets a special infusion of power from a priestess.

"Tremble" by Kasey Lansdale and Joe R. Lansdale: 2/5 - boy falls in love with guitar-playing girl who lives in a house by the railroad tracks.

"Sea Lords of the Columbia" by Weston Ochse: 3/5 - a ribald monster hunt adventure in which the monsters are the subject of pursuit for the purposes of rescue rather than extermination. Whimsical and weird fun, but nothing substantive.

"The Golden Girls of Fall" by Seanan McGuire: 3/5 - Starting off with a very cool, mood-setting intro ("dark side of kitsch") and a few great illustrations, including the cover, followed by this atmospheric adventure from anthology mainstay McGuire. A group of cheerleaders led by a vampire from another planet retrieve a friend who was abducted by the greasers, whose leader's last name happens to be Harker.

Yvonne Navarro always rocks!

Digging into Lisa Morton’s tale now:
Dr. Morbismo’s InsaniTERRORIUM Horror Show

Wow, David Schow’s story knocked me on my ass!