Status Updates From Le Théorème des Katherine

“Do you really want to die having never seen the World’s Largest Wooden Crucifix?”
Colin thought it over. “Yes. First off, neither of us is Christian. Second off, spending the summer chasing after idiotic roadside attractions is not going to fix anything. Third off, crucifixes remind me of her.”
“Of who?”
“Of her.”
“Kafir, she was an atheist!”

—So I’m changing it to ‘God Hates Baguettes.’ It’s tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes.”
“J’aime les baguettes,”
“You aime lots of stupid crap.”
2/2

“What are you doing?”
“Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous.”
1/2

“Kafir—I’m paralyzed back here. Lean that shit forward. I gotta pray.”

Dare I say the only Muslim rep in western media