Status Updates From Різдвяна пісня в прозі, або...

"...he sometimes came out with his guess quite loud, and very often guessed quite right, too; for the sharpest needle, best Whitechapel, warranted not to cut in the eye, was not sharper than Scrooge; blunt as he took it in his head to be." Who knew Scrooge had low self-esteem.

But how hot of a blind man's buff game is this! "She often cried out that it wasn’t fair; and it really was not. But when at last, he caught her; when, in spite of all her silken rustlings, and her rapid flutterings past him, he got her into a corner whence there was no escape; then his conduct was the most execrable. For his pretending not to know her; his pretending
that it was necessary to touch her head-dress..."

"When Scrooge’s nephew laughed in this way: holding his sides, rolling his head, and twisting his face into the most extravagant contortions: Scrooge’s niece, by marriage, laughed as heartily as he. And their assembled friends being not a bit behindhand, roared out lustily." All I gotta say is I gotta hang out with these guys!

"If you should happen, by any unlikely chance, to know a man more
blest in a laugh than Scrooge’s nephew, all I can say is, I should like to
know him too. Introduce him to me, and I’ll cultivate his acquaintance." I just love how the narrator talks so personably to you!