Status Updates From The Quest of the Fair Unkno...

YOU DON'T HAVE A RELIGIOUS HERO. YOU MADE EVERY RELIGIOUS CHARACTER A MORON. EVEN TRYING TO EXPLAIN THIS STORY YOU'RE FALLING OVER YOUR OWN BS AND CONTRADICTING YOURSELF.

"Some of these stories were masterpieces, and some were very bad" YEAH GUESS WHERE I'M RANKING THIS ONE.

So we DO find out who his father is. That makes the decision to be pointless pointless in itself. This book is shit on META levels!

"So I keep trying to do better" WHEN?! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?! THIS WHOLE BOOK MORRIS HAS BEEN PRESENTING YOU AS EFFORTLESSLY PERFECT, WITH SOME WEIRD MORAL THAT EVERYONE WHO TRIES TO ACT GOOD IS STUPID FOR DOING SO.

FUCK THIS BOOK.

OKAY! FINE! THE GRAIL WASN'T IMPORTANT, BEAUFILS' FATHER ISN'T IMPORTANT, NOTHING IS IMPORTANT! WE'LL HAVE OUR PROTAGONIST ACHIEVE NOTHING AND CARE ABOUT NOTHING AND PRETEND THAT'S DEEP, MAN! FUCK EVERYTHING!

Okay, so someone DID have character development. Off-screen. Great. Excellent writing, Gerald.

Another typo. "I didn't find OUT WHO my father was."

Fuck you, you do not know that it's Mordred. I mean, yes, obviously, but YOU don't have the information to figure that out! And if you already know, how the hell are the next two books supposed to happen?

And stop pretending that Beaufils has had character development. NOBODY IN THIS BOOK HAS.

Ganscotter's a shitty father. Didn't raise his own kid, won't even answer a damn question for him without demanding something in return.

This was the shortest chapter in the book. I feel like that says something about how much the Holy Grail is an afterthought in this book about the Holy Grail.

Typo. Her name is "Ellyn," not "Ellen."

It's so weird, because reading these books? You honestly get the impression that Morris hates Arthurian legend. He takes practically every character and every story and twists it around just so that he can complain about how bad it is.

"Girlish." Bet she turns out to be evil. Morris definitely subscribes to "Not Like Other Girls" Syndrome.

"There's never a reason to trust someone. If there's a reason, it's not trust."

Stop being good unless you're gonna do it consistently, Morris!

I was just thinking that Ellyn doesn't have much personality, but now Morris throws in "sexist jerk." Great.

"Don't you think I'm beautiful?"
"No. You only look like it."

Damn it, even in his bad books, Morris manages a clever line once in a while.

I'm on the hermit's side. He came out here to, you know...be a hermit, and y'all march in and bother him. Maybe he'd get to be holier if you let him do some praying.

(No, of course not. In this book, doing religious things is always the wrong answer.)

"But is doing right supposed to make you so unhappy?"

Um...yes. Quite often. In fact, I feel like if you're stuck between two options, the one that will make you less happy is probably the right thing. Otherwise you wouldn't be conflicted in the first place.

Why are they just accepting what Basil says? He's telling them to do stupid things with no real explanation why they should or what the point is. Why, when he doesn't even claim to have mystical visions like Denys, are we supposed to trust him? Just because he's one of our Designated Characters to Like?

Why are we parodying Millenarianism in a story set ca. 500?

Well, actually, the basic premise existed from the earliest days of Christianity. But it's still annoying.

Why are we parodying Pentecostalism in a story set ca. 500?