Status Updates From Noughts & Crosses

[SPOIL] “‘ Who beat you up?’ […]
‘I was just curious. Besides, what could I do? They’re Crosses and I’m a lowly nought.’ […]
‘Stop it…’
‘Stop what?’
‘Callum, it’s me. Sephy. I’m not your enemy.’
‘I never said…’
I took Callum’s face in my hands. ‘Look at me, Callum.’
Only when I felt his whole body relax did I remove my hands from his face.
‘Sorry,’ he said at last.
‘So am I,’ I told him. ‘So am I’”

“I can’t remember when our lives had become so complicated. A few years ago… or maybe even a few months ago, life had been so easy. But the ache in my chest told me like words couldn’t that those days were over.” Maybe your life used to be easy. But his never has been. You were just blind to it.

“Nothing was a given any more. Not my life. Not theirs. Nothing.”

[SPOIL] “I’d felt ashamed of myself a lot recently, and, if I’m honest, part of me resented Callum for it. I didn’t want to feel guilty for just being, but that’s how he was beginning to make me feel.” It’s not him you’re resenting. It’s society.

[SPOIL] “He’d wanted to say something about our train journey to Celebration Park and my mother not letting him in to see me. Somehow, he felt one was connected with the other. […] I wanted Callum to tell me what he was really thinking, what he was really feeling, but part of me was afraid […] So I nodded noncommittally instead.” Which is exactly why he won’t open up to you, you’re clearly not ready for that, for him

[SPOIL] “She wasn’t going to show. Why should she after everything she’d been through? After I’d let her down? Be truthful. What I did in the food hall wasn’t for Sephy’s own good or even my own. It was because I was scared. Scared of standing out, scared of being invisible. Scared of seeming too big, scared of being too small. Scared of being with Sephy, scared of being away from her.” Which is totally fair

[SPOIL] “‘But Mrs Bawden said I wasn’t to sit with any of the noughts…’
‘Mrs Bawden meant at lunch-time […] There’s only one spare seat left in the class and unless you’d rather sit on the floor, I suggest you use it.’” I love Mrs Paxton

[SPOIL] ‘Welcome back, Persephone,’ smiled Mrs Paxton. […]
‘Take a seat.’ […]
Sephy looked around, as did everyone else. The only free seat was next to me. Sephy looked at me, then immediately looked away again. […]
‘There’s nowhere for me to sit, Mrs Paxton,’ Sephy said quietly.
‘There’s a seat next to Callum. […]
‘But Mrs Bawden said I wasn’t to sit with any of the noughts…’” She is so fucking stupid

[SPOIL] “Ruddy noughts… This was all their fault. If it hadn’t been for them… And as for Lola and the others. I was going to get them, if it was the very last thing I did. I was going to get them — and good. I opened my eyes and stared out into nothing but hate. Minnie and I had a lot more in common than I’d ever imagined. And I wasn’t sorry either.” I do NOT like where this is going

[SPOIL] “‘Have you heard? […] About Sephy? […] She’s been beaten up […]
‘Serve her right! […] we didn’t have to teach her a thing or two; her own kind did it for us. […] Just ’cause her dad’s in the government, that Sephy Hadley thought she’d play Lady Magnanimous and sit with us. I bet she went and scrubbed her hand after I shook it.” I can’t really blame them, seeing how they’re treated

[SPOIL] ‘In the food hall,’ Joanne continued. ‘You sat on the blankers table.’
‘What’s it to you?’ I asked.
Lola slapped my face.” OH-

[SPOIL] “I drew back the bolt and opened the cubicle door. I was just stepping out of the cubicle when it happened. Lola, Joanne and Dionne from Mrs Watson’s class in the year above mine, pushed me back into the cubicle and crowded in after me.
‘We want to have a word with you’” Now THAT sounds like trouble

“‘Why don’t you stay a while?’
‘I don’t want to disturb you.’
‘Sephy, get off it,’ I snapped.
‘Get off what? You’re a snob, Callum. […] I thought you were […] above all that nonsense […] if you’re not a snob, you’re a hypocrite […] Which one is it, Callum? Are you a snob or a hypocrite?’
‘Get lost, Sephy.’
‘With pleasure.’
And this time, when Sephy walked away I didn’t try to stop her. I just watched her leave.” Ouch

[SPOIL] “then it dawned on me exactly what Mrs Bawden meant. She wasn’t talking about me getting back to my own table. She was talking about me getting back to my own kind. […] Callum had turned away from me. I didn’t care about the rest, but I cared about that. He’d turned away… Well, I was slow getting the message, but I’d finally got it. God knows, I’d finally got it.” Did she, though?

“Callum and the other noughts were the last ones to come in. Others barged past them and Callum let them get away with it. I wouldn’t have.” Well, yeah, but that would also never happen to you in the first place

“Mum left my room. The click of my bedroom door closing was immediately followed by the press of another TV channel button. I didn’t care which one. Any other channel would do. I’d grown up with politics, politics, politics being rammed down my throat. I wasn’t interested in being caught up in it in any manner, shape or form. Why couldn’t Mother understand that?” That is such a privileged stance

“‘You must promise me that you’ll never ever use that word again.’
Why couldn’t he understand that I hadn’t been talking about him?” Girl that is NOT THE POINT

“‘It’s just a word, Callum.’” He except it isn’t, because you used it specifically to insult them, even said they’re worse than animals

[SPOIL] “‘STOP IT! YOU'RE ALL BEHAVING LIKE ANIMALS!’ I shouted so hard my throat immediately began to hurt. ‘WORSE THAN ANIMALS — LIKE BLANKERS!’” GIRL WTF?????

[SPOIL] “At the far end of the road, there was a huge crowd outside my school. And they were shouting and chanting. […]
‘NO BLANKERS IN OUR SCHOOL. NO BLANKERS IN OUR SCHOOL.’
[…] Callum and three other noughts were surrounded by police officers who were trying to push their way through the crowd to get to the school entrance.” Oh no baby…

“‘What’re you talking about? You’re a nought,’ Jude said with scorn. ‘Look at your skin. You’re as white as the rest of us. Whiter.’
‘No, I'm not. […] Look at my skin […] Such a beautiful colour. So dark and rich and wonderful. I'm so lucky. I’m a Cross — closer to God…’” I need whoever Lynette’s dealer is to get me hooked up on the same shit as her, because I wish to be this level of delusional about my life too

“I looked at my sister. ‘You OK?’
Lynette nodded. Then a slow-burning frown spread out over her face. And that look was back in her eyes. My heart plunged down to my shoes and bounced back up again.
Please, Lynette. Not tonight… not now…
[…] ‘Why am I here?’ My sister’s troubled grey eyes narrowed. ‘I shouldn’t be here. I’m not one of you. I’m a Cross.’” What?

“‘They call themselves Freedom Fighters,’ Dad’s guest stated.
‘I don’t care if they call themselves descendants of the angel Shaka, they’re scum and I want them wiped out. All of them.’” Nice.

“‘Who’s the head of the Liberation Militia?’
‘I don't know, sir. It’s been a slow business working my way up the ranks and the Liberation Militia are very careful. […] It’s very hard to find out who’s in charge.’
‘I don’t want excuses. Just do it. That’s what I’m paying you for. I’m not going to lose my place in the government because of terrorist rabble-rousers.’” Uh-oh

‘Those bleeding heart liberals […] make me sick! They said we […] had to open our schools to noughts, so we did. They said we had to open our doors to recruiting noughts into our police and armed forces, so we did. And they’re still not satisfied. And as for the Liberation Militia, I thought letting a few blankers into our schools would spike their guns’ What did I say?

“I could still remember when Mother had been all smiles and hugs and jokes […] About three years ago. Since then, there had been a complete change. Her sense of humour had grown old and died before the rest of her […]
At least Dad was still fun — when he was around, which wasn’t often. Every adult I met for the first time loved to tell me how great my dad was” Somehow, I feel that “Dad” won’t be all that