Status Updates From Why Won't You Apologize?: H...

I think it’s meh so far

We don’t need to be experts in the business of apology to understand when it comes from the heart.

Why ruminate and make yourself miserable in the process? While the offender is somewhere suntanning in the beach? Give up hope for a different past and instead think about the power and possibility of the unknown future! It is a gift of radical self-interest.
It is deciding that your remaining time, your peace of mind, your capacity for joy, and the boundless potential of your unknown future.

The fantasies of justice prevailing help keep the victim locked in the false belief that the perpetrator needed to see what they did was wrong and also that inaccurately, subsequently, the victim needed to forgive them.

Staying angry can serve us. Revenge.. getting back on our feet… but it can metastasize and make cover up stories for what we are truly upset about. We may refuse to let go of anger because it keeps us close to the person who hurt us.

Diagnosing someone might help the victim rationalize that the perpetrator is just batshit crazy, doesn’t mean it helps us hold them accountable and accepting we don’t have to forgive them.