Status Updates From Her Name Is Murder

I feel the author’s emotional energy lagging in parts. The fiery vision is still there, but the crafting of the scene/s is somewhat sparse. She’s describing events rather than weaving & casting an enchanted net with a which to ensnare the reader.

I think the author sometimes gets so caught up in the story that she tells it like she sees/feels it & does not actually weave a tale for the reader. Having said this, I am compelled by the fiery vision that fuels this piece.

I think the author must really have enjoyed writing this because I feel excited about what will happen next. The prose isn’t especially smooth, but despite this, the story pulls me forward. I feel that it’s vividly realized, though somewhat crudely conveyed.

The prose is frequently less fluid that I'd prefer it to be, but this does nothing to impede the excitement that is conveyed. Murder is palpably charismatic and the technology of social media is described with awe and enthusiasm, to a degree that makes it seem magical. Unfortunately, finding out that Grant Noble resembles Cary Grant puts me off him, as I don't view Cary Grant to be sexually attractive

MC’s glamorous & charismatic. A little more care with wording/word arrangements would please me more.