Status Updates From To the Flame

oooh, me gusta mucho la narración

Wait, Emerson's not a trans guy? I'm so confused; I thought he was, for some strange reason. And during the sex scene, Emerson mentions that Morrie's "... come up to meet his..." when talking about erections, yet Morrie has... breasts. I'm so confused because this was recommended to me as a trans M/M story, where one is a trans man. 😕

'It was an incorrectly calculated amount of force, they realized as Emerson rose up and nearly fell again but managed to steady himself by putting his hands on Morrie’s shoulders.' is clunky.

'They soon realized it was an incorrectly calculated amount of force as Emerson rose up and nearly fell again, barely managing to steady himself with his hands on Morrie’s shoulders.' would've sounded better in my opinion.

I'm digging the vibes of the story but I'm not clicking with the authors style or writing. I'm finding their characters rather cringey and somewhat unrealistic; they seem to be acting more like sixteen year olds than college freshmen (and sophomores, in the case of Emerson's friend Alex). I'm loving the length though, it really helps my attention span.

The sentences are rather clunky. They don't seem to follow a beat that makes them easy and enjoyable to read and instead all have similar lengths. I've only just finished the first chapter so I'm hoping the sentences vary in future chapters, but – despite how much detail we're given – the rhythm makes it feel as if the author is telling us everything rather than showing us.