Status Updates From Cosmic Fever

Kindle 2

Kindle 2

"If her curled up in his mother's lap"

Her should be he, I think.

"Omar might not be a match for him physically, but Ethan would gladly risk it all, bet it all, lose it all to keep her by his side."

I think Ethan wants to say he isn't a match for Omar physically, not the other way around.

"The Theory of One might be The Theory of 99.99999999999^99 or The Theory of Almost One or your choice of any other number for that matter. It was, simply, not the integer one ."

Am I crazy or is that number more than one, not almost one?

"I luxuriated in joy and harmony."

Wow, what a phrase

"Requests for comedies overwhelmed the distribution services of Netflix and Hulu. Disneyland and Disneyworld considered reducing hours as a cost-saving measure, as the masses, it appeared, no longer needed doses of forced gaiety offered at outrageous prices to satisfy their longing for joy."

I don't love this idea that Disneyland is a waste of time, but comedies on Netflix are great? They're probably by Disney, too!

The font changed back and forth once on page 119

More quote issues, such as:
“ ...that ’ s the God’ s honest truth. I wish I did. ”“ But do you know her? ”
(No paragraph break between)

And

Sandra Lee turned around. Behind her in line stood two men clasping hands, awaiting confirmation of their union.
“ Would you be our witnesses? ” she asked.
“ We ’ d be delighted! ” said Sandra Lee.
“ Never readier, ” Omar chimed in.
“ Then sign away. ”

??

Some of the dialogue is weirdly written, like this:
"You love me? ”
“ I do. ”
“ Because there ’ s no one like you. ”
“ Far out. We love you too, bro. Right EJ? ”

Obviously someone spoke twice, but why the line break? It's choppy and hard to follow.

What is with all of the confessions of love without any commitment to the relationship or character building first?

The plot is interesting, but still not loving the character development. The writing seems like it's inspired by one of Stephen King's small-town based works, but isn't executed quite as well

I'm not liking the character development a whole lot so far.. seems like there are an awful lot of shallow stereotypes used to try to fill them out in less time.