Status Updates From Fleabag: The Scriptures

BANK MANAGER

"I want to move back home, I want to hug my wife, I want to protect my children, protect my daughter, I want to move on, I want to apologise to. evervone, I want to go to the theatre, I want to take clean cups out of the dishwasher and put them in the cupboard... At home. And the next morning I want to watch my wife drink from them. And I want to make her feel good."

“FLEABAG (CONT’D)

I love you.
They sit with the words.
Pause. She looks at him.
He takes her hand.

PRIEST

(gently)
It’ll pass.
Beat.
She smiles.
Beat.”

“PRIEST

Here’s to peace.
(beat)
And those who get in the way of it.
She clinks glasses with him.
They drink. She watches him.
He looks at her.
We hold it.”

“DAD

You’re not born sad.

FLEABAG

Some people are.

DAD

You weren’t.”

I don't feel anything about guinea pigs,
they're pointless, and soon everything became guinea-pig related.

“FLEABAG

Yeah I’m fine. You Ok? You look stressed.

CLAIRE

Well, I’m successful so … Do you have rye bread?

FLEABAG

No. But I have normal bread you could just puke up after.”