Status Updates From Succubus Soccer Mom

Wow the beginning is absolutely heart wrenching.

This has been on TBR list for ages and now I don't know why I put it off for so long. It's the comic relief I didn't know I needed right now.

"Can I get anything else for you?" The waiter kept looking down at my lap, trying to get a glimpse of the panties I wasn't wearing under my very short skirt. Unable to help myself, I spread my legs a little. "No, just the check please." There was an awkward moment of silence as the waiter ogled my not so private parts, mouth agape.

Why buy the cow when the milk is free?" "Why buy the whole pig, just for a little sausage?"

"I'll have a venti coffee, black." "Black?" "Yes. I like my coffee like I like my men." "Black?" "Hard to swallow."