Status Updates From The Graveyard Shift (24/7 D...

(11h 33m) I love the aesthetic of this. Lloyd and the angel 8-ball, sitting on the curb outside the remains of this demolished gas station, bloodied, disheveled, and bruised (probably with plaster and glass falling out of his hair) watching the sun rise.
A new dawn, a new day.
They survived.

(11h 54m) "Hey Bubby. I'm sorry he ate you too, I tried man."
🥺
.

(11h 42m)"This guy had a way with big words, didn't he?"

I'm sorry, "big words?"
"Do not be so careless, woman. Cages are easy to escape. The creature is not vanquished. Only trapped."

Yes, truly a walking thesaurus.

(12h 7m) He just lept over a counter and totally toddler chomped one the spider's nasty arachnid legs.
.

"Remember, true victory will be sweet."

Either we're about to defeat another monster with gas station food (which, valid. It's gas stationfood after all) or Lloyd's about to eat the uber donut and power up like Mario.

(12:10) Well, that ended violently abruptly and rendered the whole act of bringing in the guardians rather pointless. I would have like that op monster versus op monster battle to have lasted longer than a handful of sentences.

It felt like a waste of a move.

(12:51) "That's right, if seen Guardians of the Galaxy."
Can't even blame him, that scenes iconic.

(13h 18m)
"Can you not talk about DeeDee like that?"

Oh? Oh really?
Shall we replay some of Lloyd's greatest hits?

"..at some point while I watched delicious curves and steller personality."

".. because, you know, gentlemen take bullets for ladies they secretly love and one day hope to put their pnis inside of."

"I watched her boobs jiggle as she fought off the beast."
Pot.. meet Kettle

(13h 33m) 5:50 5:49
"This guy got laid. And I don't. Nice guys do finish last." Hunny, I'm front and center to all your greatest hits so far, and I promise you, the only nice thing about you is the sight of you leaving.

(13:42) I hate this deeply embedded trend of letting men off the hook bc it's easier than holding them accountable for their actions. This is exactly why men are the way they are.
.

"That's just stupid rocks!"
"Can you even read?"

Hi, I'm Jared, I'm 19, and I never learned how to read.

(13:53)"I tried to slide in front of her, because, you know, gentlemen take bullets for ladies they secretly love and one day hope to put their p🍆nis inside of."

I'd like to give this book 3⭐️s, bc while the writing is mediocre at best it was still entertaining and very creative. But I feel like that would be unfair; bc had I had to read it physically, it would have taken me months. The mc is so obnoxious.

... —> it is our vices, such as greed, envy, and gluttony, that make money seem "evil."

(14:09)" "Did you know Junebug worked the grave yard shift for seven years? Seven! She's a legend," DeeDee said. "No one's ever lasted that long. Word is she went out in a blaze of glory, too. Fought off a horde of flesh eating ghouls with her silver sequin crunchy and a fist full of slim jim Monster Meat Sticks."

(14:11) "Isn't that step 1 on the 12 step program to steady girlfriend? They dress you and improve you. That's what chicks do. And we let them bc VAGINAS!"

Straight Women, 📣 is this your man? 👈
.

(14h 10m) 'Money is neutral. It's a tool.'
There are no objects that are inherently evil. They can have evil uses, but they themselves cannot be evil.

...—>

(14:14) "Why were chicks so put together? Us nice guys never had so much as a hope to keep up." Ew

(14:12) I really, really hope DeeDee and Lloyd don't end up together in the end. The characters have no chemistry, I'm 5h into a 7h book, and Lloyd still treats her like a piece of meat. He still has a lot of growing to do. And when that finally happens, he may realize he never had any true romantic feelings 4 DeeDee.

(14h 14m)
"Why were chicks so put together? Us nice guys never had so much as a hope to keep up." 🙄

🤢 Eww

(14h 12m)
I really, really hope DeeDee and Lloyd don't end up together in the end. The characters have no chemistry, I'm 5 hours into a 7 hour book, and Lloyd still treats her like a piece of meat.

(14h 28m)
"This is America! It's my God-given, constitutional right to eat a damned donut." That tracks.
a) didn't pay for
b) has been told it's against store policy to eat.
But it's his "god-given right."

(14h 24m)
Just desserts. 🍩

14h 48m
"I watched her boobs jiggle as she faught off the beast. And I mean that in the most gentlemanly "I totally respect the hell out of this chick" way possible."

You're never going to be likable, are you Lloyd? 😮‍💨
.
14h 42m
He even gave you a hug! Bubby is a good boy!

moment. It's time to Shaggy & Scooby-Doo 💚🤎 up and chow down on that monster.🍴