Status Updates From Stolen by the Viking

Ah Breanne, you gots it bad.

This feels like a throwback to old skool romance. Harlequin Historical...how I've missed you.

‘This was about more than winning a sword fight. It was about protecting Breanne from a man who wanted to possess her. Never would he allow her to marry a man like Oisin, who would subjugate her to his will.’ ….Also he enjoys beating women & murder & stealing candy from kids (or so we’ll assume). One-dimensional villain, thy name is Oisin! Just kill the guy, already.

‘She understood then, that he was granting her the choice. He wanted her, but he would not claim her body unless she gave her full consent. She could stop her actions now, & he would leave her be.’ ….Christ on a cracker, this must be the fifth time we’ve been reassured Alarr isn’t a Rapey Old Skool Viking(tm). I GET IT. HE WANTS HER CONSENT. HE IS A SAFE HERO. Jaysus, enough already! 🤮

Stop the presses, we actually had a brief fight scene! An action sequence! Say WHAT?! 🤯 …But now we’re back to talking & emoting & mooning. Yay.

‘Men usually ignored her, except when King Feann had forced her to stand before them. Or when he had seated her beside him on the dais at the queen’s place.’ ….Yeah, no doubt most medieval males would totally ignore a beautiful young woman who was fostered in a minor king’s household. Nothing to interest them there. You’re just Not Like Other Girls, are you? 😱

By all means, let’s harvest more wheat. That’s way more interesting than battles. 🙄 Also, for a guy so set on revenge, Alarr does so much mooning over the heroine. Logic gap: If you’re not really planning to ransom her (it’s all a ploy to get inside her family’s home) then WHO CARES if you keep her virginity intact? The ransom will never take place, so why the angst?!

Chapter 2 & they already lust for each other. That didn’t take long. *sigh* Would it be too much to ask for some less blatant instalove? Apparently so. “It’s a Viking book! We need to reassure the audience RIGHT AWAY or they’ll start rioting!” 🙄

☝🏻 Define “glutton for punishment” 👈🏻 continuing to attempt drippy Harlequin Vikings when you know they’ll never give you the grit you’re looking for. YAY ME! 👽