Status Updates From The Recipe for Revolution

can someone else read this so they can help me understand what the heck is going on

Having a hard time sticking with it. I'll never get to page 700

Gordon St. Onge is not indefatigable, not even a minor hero, not even a mildy self-assured man. He is, as we know, filled with terrors and self-doubt. The grip of his massive arm around the little one's hip feels right to her. But weaving inside. Burning in shame. Feeding somehow still suspended in a certain blundering nudity before the eyes of thirty-two governor's wives and their protectors. What he is to them ...