Status Updates From Master Baker

I f#cking love loving you, even when it’s hard.

You’re my kryptonite.

I’m a glowing alien rock?

You’re the only person in the world who can break me.

You wear the same socks all season, and you think a bird eating bugs is disgusting?!

Just because I don’t know who I am doesn’t mean I’m no one.

You’re secretly sleeping with the competition. Own it on camera. Love makes a better show than hate, anytime.

I don’t think she misses the life she didn’t have. She’s too busy enjoying the life she does have.

Oooo! Crossover. Judging this televised bake-off between Grady & Annika are
- the Berger twins (Copper Valley Thruster twins)
- Chase Jett (who’s married to the Berger sister, I think?
- Daisy Carter-Kincaid (from Bluewater series?)

She gives negative fucks. That’s more impressive than zero fucks.

10 minutes? That’s it?

10 minutes is a lifetime for cookies.

I fell hard at 14 and haven’t ever gotten back up.

Baking is like sex: the messier the better. And I won’t object if you use two hands.

I’m not seducing Annika when she’s missing four nights of sleep and under more stress than the bottom of a ten-tier wedding cake.

Pop keeps asking me why I never left Shipwreck or settled down. I didn’t realize until now it’s because I never found anyone worth giving up sleep for. Worth coming in second for. Worth going through life with - the good & the bad, the up & the down, the give & take.

Scotland’s national animal is the unicorn.

🤔

Unicorn shoes. Unishoes?

Shoe-nicorns!

😅

What demon worth his salt wouldn’t also make a person constipated when they’re possessing him?

Apocalyptica = orchestral Metallica 😃

The damage was in her optic nerve, not in her eyeballs. That means her tear ducts still work.

She raised us both on the belief that words are just words. And the only thing you do in banning them is give them more power.

Sacrificing meant eating whatever vegetables were on sale at the grocery store. Which were usually Lima beans. Because gross! Who would intentionally buy those?

(Hear, hear. 🤣)

She didn’t just crush you. She ground your whole soul into dust, packed it into a cannonball, and shot it off over the mountains and wished you luck in finding all the pieces again.

“Heart attack in a basket.” (Gold nuggets = fried pickle chips; pirate swords = fries)

Tilly Jean/TJ: Dad!

Dad Rock: What? I’d rather have him dead than moping over some Sarcasm girl.

What’s she want with a Toyota when Chevy’s the good stuff?

Annika & Grady are of an age, “not yet 30,” as Annika tells her 13-year-old sister.

The trick to life is getting better every day.