Status Updates From The Book of the Thousand Ni...

O Thou the One whose grace doth all the world embrace
Thine ears have heard Thine eyes have seen my case
Privation and distress have dealt me heavy blows
The woes that weary me no utterance can trace
I am like one athirst who eyes the landscapes eye
Yet may not drink a draught of streams that rail and race
My flesh would tempt me by the sight of savoury food
Whose joys shall pass away and pangs maintain their place

I drank the sin till my reason fled:
I’ll drink that reason to loss misled!

If Kings would see their high emprize preserved, ✿ ‘Twill be by tongues of monuments they laid:
Seest not the Pyramids? These two endure ✿ Despite what change Time and Chance have made.

Look on the Pyramids, and hear the twain ✿ Recount their annals of the long-gone Past:
Could they but speak, high marvels had they told ✿ Of what Time did to man from first to last.

Steer ye your steps to none but me
Who hath a mine of luxury:—
Old wine that shines with brightest blee
Made by the monk in monastery;
And mutton-meat the toothsomest
And birds of all variety.
Then eat of these and drink of those
Old wines that bring you jollity:
And have each other, turn by turn,
Shampooing this my tool you see.

A story so repetitive even Burton abridges it.

Riddles!