Status Updates From See What You Made Me Do: Th...

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In the final hearing, the court ordered the children into the care of their father, again favoring the expert evidence of Dr. X. Six months after the children were removed from Sandra, Robert moved them to another school.
Sandra says she still can't believe the court would tear the children away from their primary attachment figure when there was no evidence that she or her parents were a threat to them.

Brendan can't even remember why he started abusing his wife. He had never hit a woman before. "But once I had, that was it." His abuse didn't come in a rage; rather, "it was just cold-blooded revenge." It became like an addiction he couldn't shake and ruined not only the lives of his wife and children, but also his own life; by the time he was planning to murder his wife, he was also planning to kill himself.

Gottman talked about this particular study with such enthusiasm and detailed recall, it was as if the results came in yesterday. "Here's another thing that surprised us," he said. "The violence decreased over time, so we thought, Oh, maybe this problem just takes care of itself. But we were wrong. Once a perpetrator has frightened the victim, they don't have to use as much violence to get control.