Status Updates From Bought by Her Husband

I can't with this book. How the hell am I gonna rate it........ gosh please don't let me hate it cause its just getting bad.

Her dinner outfit is blue hair clips, a blue dress, blue hoop earrings, and blue bangles. I just wanted to make that clear. I know every author isn't that into fashion but... WTF?

What in the hell are "bowls of wonderful fruit"? These descriptions are pitiful. This is the kind of book that should serve as inspiration that any old dreck can get published.

He's full of insults but most of them don't have much bite because they aren't that clever.

If his demand that she switch hotels were re-framed as being concerned about her safety, it could have easily been a character-building moment. Instead it's nothing. So far a lot of word count wasted.

"a nerve at his cheek briefly flickered in irritation."

1. Pretty sure that's not how you should phrase that...
2. That sounds like the symptom of an undiagnosed medical condition.

"you are still my wife, and as long as you remain so I have certain rights."
Gross. This was written in 2006.

I wonder if the author ever got confused about "black ice" and "black eyes." There must be a pattern to how she uses them interchangeably but I'm too lazy to figure it out.

How did Alexei even know how to find her at Jonathan's apartment?

So she can't stay with her mom and her college friend/future employee has a baby so she ends up staying with her friend's cousin. Male cousin. And this is where the trouble comes from.

"It was a bit like accepting some inevitable fate—like pigging out on holiday for a fortnight and knowing that the scales were going to be way too high when you got home."

Was the author on a diet when she wrote this? That comparison came out of nowhere.

Based on the little I know about these characters' backgrounds... I'm not sure this is how they should talk.

"With no male figure around during her growing up years, Victoria had always seen men as distant, rather glamourous figures. The only ones she was familiar with were imaginary characters gathered from the pages of her books—and Alexei could more than match those handsome heroes."

Um, what now? As far as I know, she didn't grow up in a convent.

I do like the watered down Darcy-ism of him reliving when he knew he was in love with her.

Wait, no, he seriously has this psychic ability to draw people to him? This is nonsense.

"every man in the room must want her" but she's also an ordinary waitress and "no man had ever looked at her like that"

Kind of over couples who split where the guy fucks everything with a pulse while the woman pines for him and locks the gates to her lady garden.

"The air conditioning hit her like an ice cube."
How did someone get paid to write this?

If I have to keep hearing how blue the damn sea is...

"the black eyes narrowing and bathing her in their ebony light"
What does that even mean? And no one's eyes are straight up black.

Victoria is surprisingly charitable to him in her inner monologue. I get Alexei being arrogant or the author fawning over him but it's weird that even in her head, V is thinking all these confidence-boosting thing about him.

"the heat from the sun frazzled off the buildings" I don't think that means what you think it means

If you're playing the contemporary romance drinking game, drink for "We aren't living in the Dark Ages!"

These are the vaguest descriptions... did the author do ANY research?

Rolling my eyes at the "control" vs "orgasm" comparison.