Status Updates From Between (The Chronicles of ...

I'm sorry I can't I just can't. Sasha and Lyla are great characters but there's just sooo much filler. This was in dire need of a structural edit and it looks like it never saw one. If there's an mmc there's been no sign at this point and I'm done wading through endless conversations to get to him. Even fantastic banter can't save this one.

"Prepare a list of tasks that must be performed, and we shall delegate them to the ministers, the Heads, and some of the more competent castle guards. Perhaps if we give everyone a single task, they will not make a complete mess of it.”
Maddox looked at Lorn disapprovingly. “That sounds dangerously close to optimism.”
“I prefer to think of it as delusion.”

I cannot stop smiling!

"Why did you not tell her about the wonders of Between? The mountains--"
"Filled with wraith wolfs."
"-- the lakes --"
"Filled with flesh-eating fish."
"-- the fields of flowers --"
"Mostly poisonous."
"-- and the wondrous creatures?"
Right on cue, thunder boomed right beside the tower. It was answered by the roar of a blue and orange winged beast as it flew past the window in all of its dreadful glory.

"At first, you were angry about your Destiny... then whiny about your Destiny... then scheming about your Destiny... and now elf-ish about your Destiny."
"I prefer the term resigned - it contains fewer elves."

"The citizens of Between are also quite pleased that you won; there have been raucous celebrations at the Sleazy Weasel all afternoon. The house band has already commemorated your exploits in a new song.”
Lorn looked up from his paperwork. “Is it terrible?”
“It contains a sixteen minute, improvised yodelling solo.”
“I shall take that as a resounding yes.”

“Take that prince in Snow White: he was riding around, kissing dead girls in forests. That’s not romantic—that’s necrophilia. Plus, she was 14, remember? He was a pedophilic necrophiliac. Come to think of it, the prince in Sleeping Beauty wasn’t that much better. I mean, who kisses a woman in a coma? That’s assault! Not cool, Prince Charming. Not cool ...”
“Wow, thank you for ruining those stories for me.”

"Passages that linked our realm to Otherworld were scattered across every country and continent.”
“Like subway stations,” Mrs. Landshome piped up. She winked at Lyla. “I thought you New Yorkers would appreciate the reference.”
Lyla grinned at the old woman. “Thanks for keeping this at my level.”