Status Updates From An Alien Prince for Thanksg...

This is…exactly what I thought it would be. 😆

I think I’m going to die from the cringe but I’m determined to see it through

“La uxeko chea,” he whispers, thrusting into me. The words sound like a lyric from a gorgeous song.
“What does that mean?” I ask.
“I love you.”


You have known each other for like an hour

this book is laughably bad, BUT emphasis on the “laughable” bc the way I just cackled at that I think I’m actually crying 💀

“Do you want to bone?”


You are a full ADULT woman be so fucking for real right now

Surprisingly, his proposal doesn’t freak me out. I hardly know anything about Sani, but I know that he’s a kind and noble guy. Can I leave my life on Earth behind, though, and have his green babies?


girl what the fuck you met him like 5 minutes ago & he kidnapped you or did you forget that already

“I am Sani, the prince of Eler. What is your name?”
“I am Prudence Chang, the, er, convenience store clerk of Cleveland.”

this book is painfully poorly written but this made me laugh 💀

I’m confused how the main character is an adult. By her internal monologue and ESPECIALLY her external dialogue, I’d believe she was like 13…… this is like very badly written 2014 wattpad smut

“I’m here to find a mate.” Then he asks, “You are a human female, correct?”
It’s not the worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard.


I’m curious what worse you’ve heard 💀

“Don’t hurt me! I think aliens are awesome. Have you come to take over Earth? Take it over! I shall be your humble servant. Just please don’t stick a probe up my asshole.”

Girl WHAT 😭