Status Updates From My Phantoms

‘Here, a mutual obliviousness at work. Obliviousness, rather than acceptance/understanding—it felt congenial—He liked to talk—to cackle. She didn’t like to talk at all. She went along w/ things—imperiously—Her look—brought to mind—a cat receiving the tribute of its worshippers in ancient Egypt. Or a person enduring a bumpy ride in a sedan chair. He did treat her like the object of a one-man cult. He was all wonder.’

‘—strange when somebody talks to you like that. When they’re lying, but somehow you’re on the spot. Was he trying to impress us? But that could hardly be the case—you couldn’t value someone’s good opinion while thinking they would buy this kind of crap—A living witness was required for the attitudes of this self-pollinating entity. A living listener—required—you were it—even as the ‘living’ element was—disregarded.’

‘These questions were all one question : Why did she marry him?’

"It was just what you did—What you can’t understand is the terrible pressure there was—to get married, to be married."

"You wanted to blend in?"

‘I never had—desire to quiz—father about his life; to interrogate his reasoning—after all he was no mystery—His nature had to generate satisfaction—That was it. Getting one over—Apropos London, for instance’