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“You can let the people you trust know a little about what is happening. Just don’t expect any brilliant revelations or resolutions. It is the friendship, and not the help you get from friends, that is important.”

“You can refuse to assume the role [of victim] and, instead, find strength in yourself, no matter how private and internal, to keep from collapsing into victimhood. The problem is that by entering the field of victim you may constellate in others the role of the aggressor.”