Status Updates From Phoenix Rising (Reed Securi...

“Whoa! I know you said that it’s been a while, but that’s a forest down there! How did the doctor even find Grayson when he came out?”

“Not to interrupt, by why do you have a grenade launcher in the trunk?” Carl asked.
“Never know when you’re gonna need one,” Claire answered.
“That’s not accurate,” Carl said in bafflement. “Nobody should ever need a grenade launcher.”

I turned to Derek with a steely expression. “What the fuck is wrong with you? I know we did that whole crocheting thing to try and calm down, but you weren’t supposed to take it this far. What the hell happened to your balls?”
“I crocheted a nice sack to keep them in,” he grinned. “It’s nice and warm.”
“You’re sick.”

“Same thing with dishes. Don’t ever stack the dishes on the side of the sink. Just put them right in the fucking dishwasher. Suddenly, it looks like you’ve done the dishes. You haven’t actually, but since you put away yours, it gives the appearance that you have.”