Status Updates From Battle Royal

Ah, this is a perfect example. This part tells me what happened and that she couldn’t sleep because she’d “lain in bed and experienced the physical ache of missing a particular persons body”, but I would much rather have read through her tossing and turning and experienced her thoughts with her, not just be told it happened.

It’s sweet, adult and emotionally sensible, but I’m just not emotionally engaged. The writing style keeps pulling me out of the story. I’m being told a lot about the characters without really feeling it with them. The MMC has qualities I normally like but I’m not connecting with him. The first kiss barely registered. I will finish it, but I’m not eagerly picking it back up, which probably says a lot.