Status Updates From The Science of Stuck: Break...

Boundaries never require input or compliance from another person. For example, you might try to set a boundary with your wife that you want to get to the airport two hours ahead of departure. Asking her to leave early is a request. A boundary would be to tell her, "If you choose not to leave for the airport on time, I will choose to take an Uber and meet you there." Boundaries are all about you and your choices.

There's a famous Buddhist saying that you can apply to intimacy: "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional." Said another way, conflict is inevitable, but fighting is optional.

Many people confuse compassion with permission–but they are not the same.

Genuine self-compassion is a daring quest to know every corner of your inner world. It is a journey to befriend ALL of the parts of yourself. Genuine self-compassion requires you to refuse to abandon even the most shadowy parts of your psyche. Not all behaviors are acceptable, but all parts are valuable.

Every shadow part has the potential to provide valuable gifts. The solution is to develop a relationship with and an outlet for your shadow parts. When you begin to get curious about your inner world, you realize it's often the parts of yourself you hate the most that are trying the hardest to help you.

We're trained to value goodness over wholeness.

Shadow work is just a fancy way to say "being honest with yourself about yourself."