Status Updates From Holy Bible: King James Version

Finished Nehemiah & Esther. Esther was pretty cool. A queen is in charge. Started Book of Job and I am already very confused. Job's story is giving me anxiety. Don't like.

Finished Book of Ezra. I didn't like it. It was.. boring. Not my vibe. Started reading Book of Nehemiah. Better vibe. Like it so far.

Finished 2 Chronicles. Didn't like it. Now starting with Ezra. At this point, I just want to skip to Psalms, so I can read about David again. I miss David.

Finished 1 Chronicles. I miss David again :( Because 2 Chronicles is about his son. I have a very odd para-social relationship with David and I am not sorry.

Started 1 Chronicles and guess who appears again! David! Finally. I missed him. Turns out 1 Chronicles is just about David from a different perspective? I won't complain, I am just thankful David is back

I finished 2 Book of Kings to find out that a prisoner is becoming king at the end. A prisoner who is king while he is incarcerated. And people still think people who are incarcerated are criminals. Bible shows they are kings lol. Using this as a proof now. Lmao. (this is a hyperbole don't worry, I won't use bible as proof)

I also still miss David.. I don't like the Kings in Kings.. :( David was so cool.

Now starting 2 Book of Kings. Also: Can we acknowledge that I finished HALF OF THE BIBLE?!

Finished 2 Book of Samuel. Loved it. Started now with 1 Book of Kings. Read til chapter 9 so far. It's.. boring. I miss David (he died at the beginning of 1 Kings) :(

I just love David. He's my favorite character in the Old Testament so far.

I am not done yet. I wanna add that I think that Jonathan and David were romantically definitely involved in a relationship like THEIR CONNECTION WAS DEEP. I love that so much. AND the chapter where Saul goes to a witch and summons dead Samuel who died and Samuel is just like: "Wtf why did you summon me don't do that." LIKE WHAT WE GOT WITCHES NOW I love that book

Finished 1 Book of Samuel and I LOVED IT. The whole book is about the connection of David and Jonathan, which David describes as: "Thy love me was wonderful, passing the love of women." Jonathan was ready to DIE for David (and he kinda did). Also, the book was about fear cause Saul tried to kill David SO many times. This didn't feel like the Bible, it felt like a Netflix show. I absolutely loved it.

Finished The Book of Ruth & started The 1 Book of Samuel. I am already a fan of this. The "Ark of God" is a pretty good story.

Finished the Book of Judges which is my favorite chapter so far. What happened there was wild. Like from speaking trees to really odd murders, we also got very cruel descriptions of slaughter and the first suicide in the Bible (like wow that was cruel) and a war after that. But we also got female rage. Strong female rage and I love that. Oh, and anarchy too. Now starting Book of Ruth, finally a female perspective

Ok I am a big fan of the book of judges so far! We have a FEMALE person (Jael) killing a man! AND a FEMALE leader (Deborah). I love that. Also, very weird descriptions describing the death of a man who is obese. One of the weirdest verses I've ever read.. I have no idea how to explain that here.