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‘Ed is not in pursuit of me, by any measure, nor vice versa. Yet he’s always there. We’re forever romantically adjacent. But how do you emotionally detach when they’re one of your best mates?’

someone shot me 😩

‘Each time, the whiplash of remembering, like the spike of nausea you get coming to a very sudden halt aboard a moving object. Then the abyss of “no Susie ever again” opens up beyond it. It doesn’t change, this being gone. Who knew that the most obvious thing about it is the hardest part?’

‘There’s shock and then there’s grief, and there’s the simple tiring unending chore of life afterward. These are all different things, I’ve learned.’