Status Updates From A Dead-End Job

This is insightful. “Men that dealt in death tended to respect honesty, no matter how brutal.”

The Undead Union offers “fair representation based on individual undead needs” for vampires, ghosts and revenants, including liberating ghouls from aristocratic fiends, lycanthropes from werewolf fighting pits….everything the unrepresented truly need.

If only all interns were this conscientious. “I just didn’t want to explain to the Grin Reaper that I lost his instrument of total destruction because I didn’t have proper locks on my van.”

There’s a lot of good lines, but this is a top 5. “If I wanted to keep our squishy parts intact, I’d need to make a decision on the undead rebellion.”

The hag-children/Benjamin Button monsters are a nice touch of creepy.

Internship in a life-or-death struggle makes for excellent dramatic tension. “Working for your soul didn’t pay well.” Living in a van by the River has never been anyone’s dream job.

Definitely a guy take on a girlie drink. “I asked for a drink. This looks like you shoved the Easter Bunny in an acid vat.”

“Count Dillinger and his ghoul gang” is admittedly better than Count Chocula.

Easier to build strong children than repair broken men….who did say that?

The vampire predatory nature is intriguing. I’ve said that predators retain a ring of defenders around them like human shields, but didn’t think of making the vampire-thrall connection that means vamps can’t retain their identity without mortals as life-giving sources. Will have to think on (drink on?) it.

“If this was a waiting game, they’d find that I could be as patient as Prince Charles standing by for the throne.” He’s good for lots of illustrations.

Matching gargoyles become the “stoner twins”. Genius.

“You’re telling me that a Chicagoan has figured out how to corrupt the system? I’m shocked.”

Pure sarcasm gold.

Next time I’m not affected by a workout, I’ll describe it as “a busy mind evading a body’s scorn”.