Status Updates From The Paladin's Sin (The Pala...

Much the same as my last update. The writing style is very basic and I keep getting thrown by the modern phrases in the dialogue. That may be a personal preference, but it seems so out of place and takes me out of the story. So many errors too. Could have benefited from a more thorough edit.

The world building is well thought out, but everything in the story seems to come too easily. Guy wants to see the king, but doesn’t know how. First guy he speaks to tells him, then he sees king, then suddenly is given very important position and a house etc etc after the very first meeting.

I feel like it’s a bit rushed. I don’t want to simply be told that they tried to cross the bridge but there were sentries there so they turned around and waited until the next day. That should have been exciting. As a reader, I should be rooting for them to get past or worrying what will happen if they are caught. It came across as a minor inconvenience, not a life or death situation. 😕

Initial thoughts- I’m not sure I like the writers writing style. So far, it’s a bit dry with not much feeling, only information. I’ve spotted a number of grammar mistakes already and I’m only into the first chapter which makes me worry it hasn’t been properly edited.
Too early to tell if I like the characters yet.