Status Updates From Stuck with You (The STEMini...

"The pistachio gelato melts down my cone while I explain why Neuer is a much better goalkeeper than he’s made out to be."

حاجات هعملها ف ال First date🥸

"... Erik has incredibly incorrect opinions on the way Orlando Pride is using Alex Morgan and on the Premier League trajectory of Liverpool, and I must dedicate all my efforts to talking him out of them."

Marry her man! She is a keeper!

"“Honestly, I can accept any club except for Real Madrid.”
I continue with my chin hands, unperturbed.
“It’s Real Madrid, isn’t it?”
“Yup.”
“Outrageous.”
“You’re just jelly because we can afford to buy decent players.”"

Oh fuck u Erik😂

"We haven’t touched all night. Not at the restaurant. Not in the car. (…) I’m starting to wonder whether when I fooled myself into believing that I was bravely hitting on Erik, he actually thought that I was inviting myself over to play the FIFA video game."
ijbol 😭😭😭

So I lick the place on his jaw where the drops have been collecting.


EWEWEWEWEWEWEWWWWWWW NO

Like his ancestors frolicked below the aurora borealis on their way to funding Ikea.

omg this is cuuuuuute