Status Updates From Doom Town

My wife had grown frustrated with me when I tried, long before all this, to explain my complete and utter loss of faith in words and language-it was a change to my way of thinking that, I thought, explained why I was then not apologizing for something l'd done...

What I mean to say is, and I want to be clear on this point, what I mean is that I knew then—at that exact moment-that all, all of my efforts in that area, that is to say, in the area of attempting to heal the rift between my wife and myself (and why not be blunt? all of my efforts in every area, every single one), had been and would continue to be futile.