Status Updates From Bonk: The Curious Coupling ...

Penis implants are so freaky.

This book is grossing me out badly so it’s slow going but very fascinating.

“*A comforting word about the crooked penis. Dr. Hsu says it is rare to see one that stands perfectly straight. Actually, what he said was: most men are communists! Lean to the left! Second most common: bow down, like Japanese gentleman! Number three, to the right. Four, up! Like elephant!”

What a dude.

“Before Schultz’s MRIs, few had realized how much of the penis lies hidden below the surface of the skin. The root is nearly two thirds again the length of the pendulous part. So if your erection is, say, 6 inches long, go ahead and say it’s 10. I’ll back you up.”

“Um, let’s see..volunteers will be asked to place their body parts of interest..so it’s basically just the body parts of interest. We could take a day trip to Stonehenge, see a couple plays. Jeremy Irons is in something.”

Ed doesn’t care about Stonehenge or Jeremy Irons. But agreed anyway.

(Mary and Ed are gonna do ultrasound sex. FOR SCIENCE??)

“The reproductive system is smarter than you think, and utterly goal directed. Not only do sex hormones orchestrate the direction of your uterine contractions, they dilate only the fallopian tube that contains the ovum, so that more semen ends up on that side. They even oversee the quantity and viscosity of your discharge.”

Evolution!!!

“Then came Dr. Talmey,*

*Not to be trusted.”

Cackled!