Status Updates From staying strangers

“I want to know everything about you.” Sirius said into the darkness a while later.
It didn’t take long to say, “I want to give you all of it.”

Remus agreed, nodding enthusiastically. He had been humming along in affirmation as Sirius spoke on a few random things, and had been genuinely enjoying just watching the way their brain jumped around.
“Thank you,” Sirius said thoughtfully, looking perplexed, “you know, I don't think anyone’s ever been so enamoured in listening to me.”

“Oh my fucking god, I just saw a shooting star.” Remus said, having just seen a shooting star.
“No way!” Sirius said, eyes wide and starry.
“I really did,” Remus laughed, unsure if Sirius believed him or not.
“I want to see one,” he sighed.
Remus wanted to give them a mirror.

“Is it better to speak or to die?” Sirius asked dramatically, sounding a lot like Regulus.
...
“I can’t imagine a greater tragedy than to die quietly.” Sirius said, a whisper to the stars, “so I suppose to speak.”

Remus with his eyes closed the whole time, unable to reconcile the thought of having Sirius here - it was too much for his brain to work through just then, this was not a place he was used to feeling happy in, and having Sirius in his arms and kissing gently into his mouth was far too big of a feeling for walls like this to hold.

Now, with Sirius there to smile and nod and listen with all of their rhapsodic muchness, Hope and Remus were both finding it easier to move.
Maybe they did have this. Maybe they were building this world up too, between the three of them. Remus looked forward to a time when Hope could exist in his world as something new. Something that could be easy too.

Sometimes, when Remus spoke to his mother, it felt like he was performing to a brick wall. Like no matter what he said she could sit there with that same stillness, that same Remus-ness, that unmoving quiet. Now, with Sirius there to smile and nod and listen with all of their rhapsodic muchness, Hope and Remus were both finding it easier to move.

A hardcover; sapphire blue fabric and glistening silver trees, and in the centre - ‘ The Chronicles of Narnia .’
Sirius flipped past the first page and the quote from C.S Lewis, to find the one that really mattered. The one in that same scrawled writing as before, written by the hand that held him;
to building a new one.

“I really can’t wait for France.”
Sirius smiled, and Regulus looked more like he could cry.
“I really can’t wait for France either.” Sirius said, and then, “and I love you too.”

When Sirius woke again, the game had merged into another, and Regulus was asleep on his shoulder. Somebody had covered them in blankets, likely Effie. Remus smiled softly at Sirius from his spot beside Lily and the fire.

“Well, I suppose you’ll… you’ll look really good when we go to France.” Regulus admitted, a small smile on his lips that couldn’t quite take off - he was too busy looking at the pictures of the house again.
“I can’t wait.” Sirius said. Sirius saw Regulus’ face crumple a little

estoy llorando

“It’s in southern France.” Sirius said, barely a whisper.
Regulus looked up, something new in his eyes. Sirius had also never seen his brother look shocked before. He could usually predict everything.

no puedo mas los amo

“It’s in southern France.” Sirius said, barely a whisper.
Regulus looked up, something new in his eyes. Sirius had also never seen his brother look shocked before. He could usually predict everything.

“Sister’s don’t need to be together to be together. Take it from me. I’ve been spending every Christmas with you since I was eleven, and we’ve never been together once.” *sniffing*
“You’re ruining my fucking eyeliner.”

It was a book, Sirius could tell even from a distance that it was a 'classic' - one of those ones with the fancy covers. Regulus squinted at it, and then flipped it open to the middle and read a line.
James ducked before the book could hit him in the face, and it

DIOS LA CARCAJADA QUE LARGUE AYUDA KSJSDMDDKM

“I thought I was your favourite cunt.” James said to his mother. Sirius grinned. James was absolutely his favourite cunt. Well, one of - Regulus was watching the whole thing unfold with his hands covering Dora’s ears.
“You are the light of my life dear, but you don’t beat you fathet in cuntiness“.
James grinned, and Monty kissed Effie’s hand, giving the mug back to Lily, who looked at it with brand new fondness.

“That is a pretty mug.” Effie said, pointing to the mug in Lily’s hand, “let me see that.” Effie had been doing that with almost everything. Sirius thought it was mostly her way of learning about the people she loved - what did they give one another that elicited such smiles? What did they see in one another that translated in their gifts? What gifts did they cling to, and why? It helped her know people’s hearts.

“Really, I don’t know what’s wrong with me - it’s like, something just, possesses me, or something?” Lily was explaining to Sirius animatedly on their walk back to the cabin. James and Remus were walking ahead, having a pretty heated discussion about what Lochus’ voice would sound like if they had one.
“‘S good to laugh.”

Sirius drew three lines in the first second.
“It’s a hat, it’s a magician, it’s-”
“YES! Magician!” Sirius laughed, throwing down his pencil where the beginnings of a hat was. James was grinning. They had done this on their every turn, the two of them. Regulus had just about managed a line.
“I mean it’s practically cheating.”

“Mm, I think you look like Aphrodite.” Remus said, half a whisper, like she might overhear.
Sirius gasped, leaned in close with a smile, “that’s blasphemy!”
“It is,” Remus smirked, bringing his lips to Sirius to kiss them, two fingers coming to lift their chin so he could get a better angle, “a face to launch a thousand ships.”

He spent a lot of time adjusting Sirius too - mostly just as an excuse to touch him. He would help to arrange their hands in all the ways Remus found were most beautiful, say stupid things to make them smile and kiss them senseless against the cliff just to capture the burnt red on their cheeks and the glistening crystal of their lips.

I died

When it came to photography, Remus was a perfectionist. Luckily, Sirius came ‘perfect’ in their natural form. Still, it was important to Remus that everything was right, so they spent a tedious amount of time adjusting and readjusting until the camera was picking up all of Remus’ absolute favourite perfections - the way light would filter through the dark strands of Sirius’ eyelashes, the silver glitter beneath

“You see things beautifully.” It was funny to hear from Sirius’ lips, the crashing waves behind them and the salt on their cheeks. Some things were easier to find beauty in than others.
“Mm,” Remus hummed, flicking through settings again, “you should see how I see you.” He muttered, fixing the light. Sirius was watching him, a small smile creeping onto their face. “What?”
“Show me.”

“it’s much more to do with what you’re trying to capture - feelings , you know? The same as when you paint.”
“Sure, but - but you just changed the way reality looks.”
“You do that every time you paint.”

“No, it doesn’t. You just don’t see what I see when I look at it. That’s sort of the whole point.”
“That’s how this beach looks to you?”
“Yeah?”
“That’s- I want my vision to look like that. Am - am I going blind?”

So Remus nodded, and Sirius leant forward, brushed some hair from their eyes, and peered at the screen Remus was looking into.
“I don’t really know how to explain.” Remus admitted.
“Well, that’s okay. I’m an artist.” Sirius shrugged, looking up at Remus and then back at the camera. “I’ll get it.”

To delve into the meaning behind every feeling, every action, every word - what do we fight the wars for? What do we chose to love for? What must we face, must we learn, of ourselves in order to make it to the final page? And what monsters were there in our own lives to slay, or to nurture right into their graves?

For Remus, it was the learning, the meaning that was important. What did it say that he was always off thinking about monsters and gods? It meant that he was human. That he wanted to hear about love and war because it’s what waits in all of us, and maybe he didn’t know how to access that on his own. He wanted to see gods with faults and monsters with stories of their own.

Sirius wanted to create stories, and Remus loved to listen to them. That Sirius was an artist, and Remus was a reader. It wasn’t all they were - not by a long shot, but it did seem to reflect a lot about what they sought in life.

That Sirius wanted to create stories, and Remus loved to listen to them. That Sirius was an artist, and Remus was a reader. It wasn’t all they were - not by a long shot, but it did seem to reflect a lot about what they sought in life.