Status Updates From Cantankerous Nott is Rollin...

I KNEW I shouldn’t have read it. I freaking hate cliff hangers. But atleast it’s not one where I’m left wondering if everyone is alive.

“Something you may not know about Theodore is that he rarely stays up past nine o’clock.”

Me too, Theo. Me too

“You are the blood of my blood…“ Charlie sipped the wine.
Sirius took the outstretched chalice and drank deeply. “And bone of my bone…“
“I give you my body that we might be one…“ Theo stated, savoring his own mouthful of red wine.
“Or three-“
“*Draco!*”

I’m dead

“And I promise I won’t mention anything about Sirius and I-“
“Ah, ah, ah. Nope,” Harry laughed with a shake of his head. “I want to spend the rest of my life pretending my best friend and godfather aren’t-“
“Shagging on every surface of their flat?” Ginny quipped with a waggle of her eyebrows.
“It wasn’t *every* surface-“
“Ugh, no-“

*snorts*

“It took a moment and another glance between Sirius and Charlie, but the former ended up shrugging, flashing her a smile as he walked into the kitchen, raising his hands into the air as he went. “Baby cousin!”

I’m dead

“Hermione, we *want* you. I’m sorry it didn’t seem like it, that we made you feel like all we wanted was sex. That’s the furthest thing from our minds-“
“Speak for yourself,” Draco murmured, his lips quirking.
Theo rolled his eyes, but he met her gaze again, an amused smile playing at his lips. “Well, all *he* thinks about is sex because he’s immature…”

*snorts* Now is not the time, Draco

“Next time, we’ll have to get that farm sauce to put on the pepperoni.”
“Ranch dressing,” Hermione laughed.”

I’m dead

“What Draco means to say,” Theo said […] “Is that while we are together and have been for years now-“
“We fuck witches, too.”
Theo groaned in exasperation, and released Malfoy’s hand, running his own roughly down his face, “Bloody hell, Draco!”
“Well, we do.”

*snorts* I cannot with this Draco

“We have ten years, at minimum. I don’t intend to let the decade pass without falling in love with you.”

Stop it right now, Charles Weasley

“*The Boy Who Lived married the youngest of the Weasley brood,[…] This writer realizes how heartbroken rumored fiancée and pregnant mistress, Hermione Granger, must be.*
[…]
When she flicked her wand, The-Boy-Who-Was-Not-Her-Fiancé poked his head into the room as the door creaked open.”

DEDDDDDDD

I’m on a big marriage law kick 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️