Status Updates From Птицы Америки

Overheard, or recorded, all marital conversation sounds as if someone must be joking, though usually no one is.

When you told a stupid joke to God and got no response, was it that the joke was too stupid, or not quite stupid enough?

She has been given way too much to cope with in life. Did God have her mixed up with someone else? Get a Job, she shouted silently to God. Get a real Job.

“No more weddings,” Albert announces. “No more divorces. No more wasting time. From here on in, I’m just going to go out there, find a woman I really don’t like very much, and give her a house.”

“…it was then that she first felt all the dark love and shame that came from the pure accident of home, the deep and arbitrary place that happened to be yours.”

“He was thinking, but she could tell he wasn’t good at it.”