Status Updates From (Not) Your Basic Love Story

“Live in the moment.”

As her yoga instructor once said.

Yall im done.

She is whining because she cant have a solo drink with the bride.

At her wedding.

In Mexico.

With a bajillion others there for the couple.

Girl go socialize please. Rolling your eyes at Nicole for booking an excursion & massage at a literal resort like it’s unheard of is embarrassing.

Upstage the bride? In presumed Louboutin and some jewelry?

Girl please. Do you have a magnifying glass? How do you know they aint from claires. Smh.

Please get a personality 😭 I’m about to DNF

Woah.

This woman really has no personality that is notable other than her ex-boyfriend.

He dodged a bullet for real 🤷🏻‍♀️

The narrator pronounced the Vancouver hockey team, “the Canooks.”

I am hollering.

THIS IS RICH!!!
She doesn’t like her BFF’s friend, Nicole, because

Get this

…

“She’s fake”

Y’all the pot is calling the kettle black.

Smh how am I making commentary every %. I am agitated.

She called Derek (bff’s fiancé) “Generally considered handsome”.

Well ain’t she a pocket full of sunshine.

She didn’t even elaborate. Thats all we get.

Your best friend’s wedding. Derek, the fiancé, doesn’t approach you and you don’t approach him. And thats normal? You flew all the way to Mexico and no one is greeting one another????! You literally kissed his fiancée’s lips, I feel like you owe him a “hey what up congrats or whatevs” (honestly, every time she calls her friend “babe” I die I little inside).

“Kissing your [same gendered cis-] friends on the lips is normal.”

No, honey not usually. Cheek kissing is a standard welcome I will give you that. Im kind of icked

Holy crap she is so damn heartless. Plus this narrator is giving her the most obnoxious “Holier-than-thou” tone. And like a monotonous tone for her BFF