Status Updates From The Betrayal Bond: Breaking...

After reading more last night and into the early hours of the morning, something became clear to me. When my fear loosens its grip, I am not left with less love. I am left with a clearer love for her—one that allows me to see her as she is, rather than through my fears or my ideas of who she ought to be. What remains is love with clearer eyes.

starting over. for the 90th time.

Prolonged trauma makes ur mind stay in a constant alarmed state, and with enough time and fear, it can become addicting n its the new baseline for "normal"

u can also get addicted to strategies u use to cope wihh the trauma (splitting, shame, repetition and abstinence )

Learn to break the pattern + support grief by ritualizing change, creating boundaries, n l arning trategies for detachment.

Grief is worse when u're wounded by the people who were supposed to be your refuge coz it leaves u searching for whatever closure that wasn't given, n trauma has a cruel way of convincing you that you'll only find it by returning to the place you lost it

Unfortunately I relate to that a lot

Trauma can shrink your window of tolerance, making small things feel overwhelming and bigger challenges leave you frozen. Healing isn't about never getting triggered—it's about slowly widening that window so you can pause and respond instead of just react. Safe, attuned relationships help us learn that, even if we didn't get it growing up.