Status Updates From Guardian: Zhen Hun (Novel) ...

This is very addicting. I ended up buying the whole series, which was the plan but oh my gosh I can have the physical form, and I also bought a few more danmei's I have never spent so much on books at once.

The mask’s eyebrows suddenly turned downward, morphing into an expression that looked like it was torn between crying and laughter.

Did White No-Face transmigrate from heaven official's blessing to this book?!

“If someone was willing to follow me to the ends of the earth, if they took care of me and understood me and my needs, but I didn’t even have the heart to protect them? What the fuck would I even be? Would I even deserve to be called human?”

Exactly.

First the Reincarnation Dial, now the Mountain-River Awl… The Four Hallowed Artifacts had been lost in the Mortal Realm for years on end. It wasn’t like they were cabbages in the market going for twenty cents a pound. And just coincidentally encountering two of them within six months…?

Buy one get one free!

To Guo Changcheng, he said, “Did you pass your firearm qualification exam?”
Guo Changcheng looked at the ground, ashamed. “The examiner said he wouldn’t pass me unless he died and came back to life.”

They're cooked.

When a life-sized blowup doll was delivered to 4 Bright Avenue, the courier hadn’t even gotten out of earshot before Zhao Yunlan roared in fury.
“Guo Changcheng, is that a head or a chamber pot on your neck?!”

I'm wheezing 🤣🤣

Not a single cockroach could have survived in that pristine kitchen. It was practically a showroom model.

Fs in chat for the poor cockroaches.

Zhao Yunlan peeled off his jacket and pants with no further hesitation, leaving him lounging casually in front of Shen Wei in pajamas that revealed most of his chest and chiseled abs. Shen Wei’s face changed color as if it had been boiled.
Unabashed, Zhao Yunlan said, “You’re the one who told me to strip.”

Actions, meet consequences.

Zhao Yunlan couldn’t help but sneeze a few times.
Shen Wei immediately stopped. “Officer Zhao, do you have a cold?”
[..]Rubbing his nose, Zhao Yunlan said, “No, no. It’s just that I took one step into this hall and smelled the miserable scent of math homework. Allergies, you know?”

Relatable.

Thankfully, having only fallen from the second floor, Guo Changcheng was fine, if a bit shaken.

Only shaken? He should have at least a broken bone.