Status Updates From Poltergeist: A Classic Stud...

'Mrs. Garrett went into a trance, and was taken over by her trance personality, Uvani, an Arabian. Uvani made the interesting comment that hauntings take place only when there is someone in a "bad emotional state" who can revivify old unhappy memories[.] "If you suffered where life suffered, the essence that once filled the frame will take from you something to dramatise and live again."'

'Dramatise'! I like that.

'A modern psychic, Robert Cracknell, has pointed out that a large number of mediums have had disturbed childhoods, and that many are homosexual; a certain emotional instability seems essential to clairvoyance.'

Yikes.

'One morning, as Jean Pritchard was kneeling in front of the kitchen fireplace[,] a shower of keys descended down the chimney, some of them hitting her on the head. She counted them and found there were nineteen in all. "Fred" had collected every key in the house. But when they had been sorted out, there was still one rather old-looking key left. They never identified it, and she still has it.'

'Two years passed[.] Diane had turned into a pretty teenager with blond hair and a good complexion.'

Ugh, please be relevant.

Actually, wait, please don't be relevant.

'Poltergeist voices [...] do not sound at all like human voices; at least, not to begin with. It seems as if the entity is having to master a strange medium, to form sounds into words[.] Most talking ghosts and poltergeists begin in a guttural voice that sounds as if it is made up of grunts or groans; the Bell witch made gasping, whispering noises more like an asthmatic cough.'

Poltergeist!