Status Updates From Guards! Guards!

"His age was indeterminate. But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he was about seven thousand years old." BAHAHAHA THIS MIGHT BE THE FUNNIEST LINE I'VE EVER READ. I cannot BELIEVE I read this (sub?) series out of order. It's SO much better getting introduced to the characters this REMARKABLY UNHINGED way

maybe the reason i’m single is because deep down i’m holding out hope that one day scientists will find a way to make book characters real and i can finally marry carrot