Status Updates From The Mummy, or Ramses the Da...

Anne Rice should never have been allowed to pick up a pen after this

they're already kissing ok skimming starts now

Elliot has a whole sugar mommy

god this book could've been so great but now he's looking at her breasts

hey at least she has good discernment

ok she's already describing Ramses as handsome wrap this story up immediately

he's in your house how are you gonna let him tell you what to do lmfao

British people in fiction announcing everyone's titles to address them is my biggest pet peeve cause no one talks like that in real life

“Don’t be absurd, Rita. Bring me some coffee, like a good girl.”

don't talk to your maid like that? 💀

I'm not making this up
“And the mummy, it seemed to move in the brightening light, as if responding to the heat. To sigh almost like a flower opening. What a tantalizing illusion.”

this prose to throws as many adjectives into the most mundane descriptions as it can