Status Updates From Whisky Galore

'Extraordinarily primitive people,' Mr Brown murmured to himself. He was thinking of that strange old woman in a shop at Nobost last week who when he had asked her if she kept toilet-paper had replied with a slightly puzzled but equally propitiatory smile, 'No, no, I'm afraid we haven't that kind of paper just now, but we have emery paper if that would do as well for you.'