Status Updates From The New Rules of Marriage

Reading for work 🧠

“Why should we men engage to identify/share our emotional lives?…The bar has been raised by our children. Virtually every man I talk to wishes to be a better dad to his kids than his own dad was to him. More involved, more understanding, more connected. We can’t do that from behind a wall. The people we love want more from us, both as husbands and as fathers, than our paychecks. They need our open hearts.”

“Traditional masculinity commands “Thou shalt not be vulnerable.” As boys learn to be men they are taught to disown their own vulnerability and to deride vulnerability in others.” Unfortunately, many women have learned this too. “Both sexes need to step forward into a new, 21st Century understanding that in order to be healthy, all of us need to be whole.” Both genders can learn to be tender and tough.

“Of all the domains of intimacy the one that most couples find most difficult is emotional sharing. And nothing better illustrates the conundrum for both sexes than when women try to have 21st century relationships with 20th century guys. Why is this issue so fraught? Because a central aspect of traditional 20th century masculinity is the denial of emotions.”