Status Updates From Dark Fire (The Last Dragon ...

You know how in my review of the fourth book I said this series was fun if you turned your brain off? I’m recanting that statement. This series sucks. It is the worst. It is NOT FUN.

Alexa is so sickeningly, tooth-rottingly cute, and that’s not a good thing. Again, compare this character to Sammy Tillerman from Homecoming by Cynthia Voigt. Sammy is a fully-fledged character who is six years old; Alexa has nothing to do beyond being a cute kid. It’s just so obnoxious.

He’s doing it again. He’s making characters say “hhh” when they gasp or squeal. I’m pretty sure it’s meant to be a counterpoint to dragons hurring, but I hate it so much. He’s doing it again! He can’t stop!

Stop with the epithets, for the love of god! Her name is Lucy! Not the girl. Not the teenager. For god’s sake! Your editor sucks!

He still loves the word “muttered” way too much. I would be less bothered if he switched it up with “murmured”, but he never does. Should have been keeping a count across the series; I’m sure we’re past 100.

You could have cut that down to two words, Chris. But more words means you’re a better writer, right? News flash, buddy: you’re not Charles Dickens.

Really? We’re really doing the “I am your father” thing? We’re really going there?

I also really hate how Lucy barely acts like a teenager. She was a perfectly acceptable eleven-year-old in the first three books, especially in the first book. Again, the author doesn’t know what he’s doing.

This is a terrible exposition dump.