Status Updates From His Innocent For One Spanis...

‘She was on the pill, for goodness’ sake. Only she had been a little lazy in the times she took it, given she was only on it for the convenience of regular periods rather than protection or pregnancy prevention.’ ….YOU refused when he wanted to use a condom the first time, you moron (& that’s not including going bare with a self-admitted manwhore you just met, whether he’s your 1st lover or your 20th).

‘Emily had bought a lot of things for her goddaughter. Little sweets, a fridge magnet… It surprised him. After all, she was here working, not on holiday.’ ….Buying a doll, a magnet, & candy for your 4-yr-old goddaughter that you love like a niece ain’t exactly strenuous labor, dude. But I forgot—you don’t do eMoTiOnS. 🙄

She’s too afraid to sit in a salon chair because other people might see her (no, really—that’s her excuse for giving herself terrible haircuts), but now she’s talking group flamenco classes in a country where she only half-speaks the language. Right. Sure thing, champ.

‘He moved back & his erection sprang free. As he moved to get it off her it brushed at her most intimate core, & he held the base of it as if it was some heat-seeking missile as it nudged her entrance.’ ….Ew. 🤢 Soooo he’s rubbing his dick all over her while they’re humping in a dusty vineyard. Then tells her they can’t fuck b/c she’s a virgin. And then they talk about flamenco shoes. Wtf.

I can’t figure out why he’s attracted to this idiot. 🤔 He’s a worldly-wise billionaire European businessman with a parade of elegant exes; she’s poor, awkward, inexperienced, & frumpy with bad hair, no backbone, & dumb as a box of rocks, yet he’s got a perpetual boner because...WHY? Supposedly she’s “gorgeous” (his word) but then why paint her as so unappealing to the reader?

—“It’s a local term. Kind of…” he sought a translation for her. “…a flamenco club where aficionados go.”
—“Aficionados?” she repeated, & then worked out what he meant without explanation. “Enthusiasts?”
—He nodded.

….’Aficionado’ is the word we use in ENGLISH, you stupid twit. 😑

For the last time, authors: SHY =/= FRUMPY. 🙄 Also, easy-care hairdos are a thing. And you can wear photographer-practical clothes (stretchy pants, sturdy shoes) that fit your tits properly but still show your personality. This is the modern world, ffs. Buy online if stores don’t carry your size or have what you like.

I’m enjoying GLYNDA, but it’s a heavy paperback with tiny font (just an observation, not a gripe—I hate giant font because I always feel like I’m rushing through it) & narrow margins. So I chose this HP at random to give my eyes & hands a break. 👽🫶🏻

No first meet yet

So far, all heroine backstory and conversation with secondary. Engaging but felt like it went on a bit too long. Character well established, possibly to motivate something that's going to happen in next chapter possibly at expense of pace.