Status Updates From 100% Match

did he just say mayonnaise jars…

OH MY GOD????????

uhm so first of all what the fuck
and second he left the officers car there and the blood and literally everything at the crime scene
he’s definitely going to get caught im surprised he hasn’t sooner

“I have trouble getting to sleep, so I stick my finger in my butt and count to fifty.”
what an intresting way to chase dreams! i assumed counting sheep would be more calming... but that works too, i guess??

i’m sorry WHAT? you shot the kid in your basement ??? WHATBTHEBFUCK??
i’m growing increasingly concerned with every page I turn

“the only reason I own my own home is because my morbidly obese mother drank a little too much home-brewed cyanide tea on a hot summer day leaving her only son with the house. but the ladies don’t need to know that.”
okay, we are starting very well.
facts i know so far, he has a small penis, is obsessed with appealing women, and keeps ziplock bags with his snotty tissues.
very interesting.

was told that this was a horror novella and i don’t read horror but decided to try something new! according to reviews this is horrifying so now i’m scared but since i’m petty i’m determined to read it and see how bad it is

ew