Status Updates From Friendaholic

resourcefully leaned on imaginary friends to endure the loneliness and drudgery of her life until this point. I, too, had an imaginary friend at primary school, although my friend was formless and had no name
- it was more of a reassuring, understanding presence to whom I would sometimes address my innermost thoughts.

I poured my energies throughout my teenage years into acquiring a big group of friends, believing that a degree of popularity equated to safety. But did this make me feel accepted and more confi-dent? No. Quite the opposite. In order to keep in with as many of my peers as possible, I had become a social chame-leon. I had first sussed out what they wanted in a friend and then tailored my own personality accordingly.

When a friendship falls by the wayside, it does not necessarily mean it has failed or is not in some way 'good'.
It simply means it no longer fits. Or it means that you have both been taught what you needed to know, and can move on with love. Or that friendship wasn't one that was important enough for either of you to make the effort to preserve it. The end of a friendship does not automatically make you a bad friend

it required 200 hours of investment in the space of a few months to make a stranger into a good friend… falling in love will cost you two friendships.
When we fall in love, we understandably put a lot of time and effort and attention into our romantic partner- and that means space has to be made in one's innermost circle

empathy wasn't always about guessing exactly what someone else was going through; it was about being brave enough to hold space for the not knowing and the impossibility of resolution. This, I think, is the key to ensuring friendships survive and thrive through different life phases. You do not have to travel the same path at the same time. But you can leave a room for their pain in the home of your own imagination.